I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
