Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
