THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
The uberlube is also flammable
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize
