What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
