Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
