so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
either way he was missing a nipple.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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