Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
