I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
