Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
