i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
