FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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