You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
