i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
