Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
