My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize