my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
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