my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I don't think brook has ever known best
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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