My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize