In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
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