Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
