my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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