last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
