Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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