I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
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