even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Randomize
