You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
