you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize