so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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