did you get engaged???
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
