I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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