I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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