Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I could fuck to npr.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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