That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I need moral support for this bender
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
