just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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