HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
