Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
