did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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