everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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