Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
It's never too late to be topless.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
