Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
