so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize