Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
