It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
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