did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
