lets start a swedish sibling band together
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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