He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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