when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Randomize
