Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize
