Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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