I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Randomize
