apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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