We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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