My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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