Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I love you.
Bad choice
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
