Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
