didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
