I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize