make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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