I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
