god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
