that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
