so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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