roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
