I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Randomize
