just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
